Pirates of the Caribbean:
The Curse of the Black Pearl

Oh, boy! This movie is so delicious that I hardly know where to begin. What we have here, boys and girls, is your old-fashioned swash-buckler. Its a full-blown thriller, too! Right down to the search for lost treasure and a mythical pirate ship crewed by ghosts. And best of all, its written with some brains. This movie is thrilling, articulate, glib, and boisterously funny, all the while its scaring the pants off you. Think "The Princess Bride," but less over-the-top satire. Be forewarned, however. The scary parts of Pirates of the Caribbean are too intense for children and you should respect the PG-13 rating. But everyone else, and I do mean everyone from kids to grown-ups, will have a wonderful time watching this movie.

Update August 22, 2003: Pirates of the Caribbean is still going strong in theaters, becoming one of the biggest hits of the year despite the generally luke-warm reviews it received from the major critics. No doubt it will be similarly snubbed come Oscar® time. And to my delight, my all-time favorite movie - the original "Robin Hood" from 1938 with Errol Flynn and Olivia DeHavilland - is starting a run in the Castro theater in San Francisco. We have a double-feature in our weekend plans! Oh boy! Now if only our local video store has "Captain Blood" in stock, I'll be in Seventh Heaven!

Jack Sparrow

We open with a scene of a shipwreck at sea. The newly-appointed Governor of Port Royal, one Weatherby Swann (Jonathan Pryce), is sailing to his new post aboard one of His Majesty's ships when it comes across the remnants of a ship that was obviously ransacked and destroyed by pirates. Amid the debris, the Governor's 8 year-old daughter Elizabeth spots a boy floating unconcious in the water. When they bring the boy aboard, Elizabeth discovers a chain around his neck with a gold medallion strung on it. Elizabeth secretly steals the medallion and keeps it to herself, an act that will come to have a great impact on her later in life.

Will & Elizabeth

Ten years later we see the famed pirate Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), who's sailing into Port Royal aboard what can only be called a floating mast. His crew had mutinied and left him stranded on the proverbial island and he just managed to escape. His bad luck holds, however, and he is immediately thrown into jail. We find Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) has grown into a young beauty who has attracted the attentions of the ambitious Commodore Norrington (Jack Davenport), a pompous prat to whom she has been betrothed by her father. But Elizabeth loves the handsome young smithee, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), who was the boy plucked out of the water those many years ago. Will is now an artisan who makes the best swords in all of the Caribbean, and he is also quite skilled in their use, but in that culture he is a lowly tradesman. And lowly tradesman do not marry into the peerage, so the two smitten youngsters are limited to furtive glances, heaving bosoms, stolen moments, and brief conversations.

Crew of The Black Pearl

The game's afoot when Jack's old crew aboard the legendary ship The Black Pearl, now under the command of his old nemisis Captain Barbossa, attacks Port Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth, intending to ransom her. Jack, seeking to avenge himself (and avoid being hung, of course) escapes from jail. He crosses swords with our hero Will, but the two discover their common interests and join forces to try go after the Black Pearl, recover the treasure and rescue Elizabeth. But there's a secret neither of them knows. The ship is indeed haunted by demons and they will have to overcome their enemy using their wits as well as their swords.

Jack Sparrow and Our Hero Will Turner

Its a knock-down, drag-out of a movie with excellent special effects. The gags are non-stop, but you have to be quick or you'll miss half of them. Johnny Depp is charming as the scoundrel Jack Sparrow, perhaps the most aptly-named character in movie history. I've never before seen a pirate who looks like the "Before" shot in the old Charles Atlas comic book ads. But he's funny and handles the role with a deft touch - never letting the jokes overwhelm the action or the story. Keira Knightley is beautiful and handles her role with grace and timing, handling the role of intrepid heroine with pluck and dignity, with a sprinkling of corset jokes to keep things light.

One of the things I was most grateful for was that this movie could have easily been so bad. The deliberate exploitation of the Disney theme park attraction Pirates of the Caribbean could have meant a mindless Disney kids' movie from The Absent-Minded Professor era. The producers do pay homage to the movie's namesake, Disney Imagineer Marc Davis' marvelous attraction in Disneyland, by using several easily recognized scenes from the ride as a backdrop for several locations in the town of Port Royal. And here and there, the cast will let forth with a few stanzas from "Yo-Ho! A Pirate's Life For Me!" But other than those two aspects, there's no other sign of The Company's often-heavy-handed influence. Its just a wonderful show. In the words of Monty Python's Michael Palin, its "A Ripping Good Yarn!" I think its going to be a much bigger hit than anyone expected. We're going to see it at least once more in the theater and there's a spot on our bookshelf already reserved for the DVD.